Over the last two weeks as my Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome caused another bad week and then a bad cold has had me feeling horrible for a second week, I have thought about and talked with people about my medical issues and what they cause. I don't really like to talk about them to others because I always feel like no one understands or they judge me so I prefer to write/type about them to get things out. I have issues where people want to know what I have but it's hard to explain to someone that doesn't know what those things are. I mean, what I go through because of each illness is hard to explain....
Just the other day a friend of mine was talking about how she saw a tv show and some research they did about how much sleep to get. She was saying that everyone should get 6.5-7.5 hours of sleep a night. Well, for someone who's healthy that may be fine but for me it's not and trying to explain that to her was not easy. I feel like she does understand some but she can't fully understand because she doesn't have the medical issues I do, nor does anyone else and for me to explain that I have to sleep more then some people was hard. I have to sleep at least 8 hours a night or I'm too tired to function....the PCOS and CVS both cause me a LOT of fatigue and the CVS will flare up if I don't get enough sleep so I sleep til I feel I've had enough so I don't have a flare up. It's not like I'm lazy or what not, it's that I am extremely tired most of the time so 8 hours of sleep is my minimum amount nightly to be able to function.
It's just that some people really care and try to help which is ok and some push me, get me upset and don't fully understand why I only work part time or why I need so much sleep or why I'm not as energetic as a normal 23 year old should be. Sometimes my own mom doesn't understand that I have to sleep so much, she doesn't understand when I come home and don't feel up to helping her do stuff around the house, she doesn't understand what my body feels with 6 medical issues after a 9 hour work day. I hear people at work saying all the time how they work two jobs and sometimes go to school as well and I get upset because I wish I was able to do the same things and handle it but my body just won't allow it.
I just wish people, whether they understand or not, would not look at me like I'm lazy because I can't work 2 jobs or full time, or because I don't go to school, or sleep too much. I wish they would just love me for me, medical issues and all and not judge me or get me upset. I am proud of myself though for handling this job for 6 months now and for fighting all 6 of my medical issues every step of the way...I wouldn't be able to do it without God, my mom and my best friend/big sis who believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself.
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