Roller Coaster Of Life

So I know you've heard that saying "roller coaster of life" and I'm sure you've heard it more than once in your life. That's the way my life has been the last few months from the surgery in April til now my life has been upside down, not that it hasn't always been.

 I went back to work in July and then this past Saturday I lost my job for stupid reasons. I was on the self scans that night and they were acting up. They kept freezing up and wouldn't accept anyone's payment cards, aka debit or credit cards. After 4.5hrs on them I was getting frustrated and had went to work sick anyways. So I called for help from a CSM manager and she basically said we couldn't shut them down and then as I was asking her for some help on the she just up and walked away as I was talking to her. I waited 30 minutes and called a CSM back for some help and she got an attitude with me so I got one back and told her I was going home since I only had an hour of work left and she told me to go ahead. So I went back to the back as I was looking for a manager to talk to and as I turned the corner a manager pulled me into his office and it was basically 3 against one and I didn't even get to tell my side of the story. He asked for my badge and I threw it at him and went to my locker, got my purse and threw the lock in the locker without even locking it. I was crying the entire time and cried all the way home. I had to take a different way home so I wouldn't drive off the bridge I've been wanting to drive off of and I stopped at a store up the road and called a friend because I was so upset.

So now I've filed for unemployment, food stamps and medicaid and on August 31st I have my disability court hearing to see if I can get benefits for being so sick and not being able to hold down a job. I've tried to work and have lost every job, I  can't even work part time so I don't know what to do if I don't get disability at this point. If I do get disability I am going to get my dream truck I've been wanting for years because I think I deserve it after 20yrs of being sick and dealing with school and work. I deserve to spoil myself with my dream truck and I'm giving mom some money for clothes too and myself for some clothes and pay off all our debts...right now we are hurting bad money wise.

Right now it's a battle trying to hang in there through this ride I call life. It's such a struggle feeling bad almost 24/7 and it's so hard not letting it get too me, I'm not gonna lie I'm so depressed and down right now and stressed to the max. I just really need a break and I'm praying that "break" is when I win my disability case on August 31st...just 30 more days and that's it...FINALLY my life may change around, I'm PRAYING it does.